“I am pleased to announce that Australia, the largest island in the world has dramatically increased in size”
– Federal Resources and Energy Minister Martin Ferguson
Ummm…
Australia has just been enlarged. By an extra 2.5 million square kilometres. Or – “an area five times the size of France, 10 times the size of New Zealand, and 20 times the size of the United Kingdom”.
Figure 1. In which Mr Ferguson points to a blob called Australia.
While those keen on oil and gas are pretty pumped about the potential fortunes ready to be made (did you say bonanza?) we here at Super Colossal are more excited about the strategic move this represents against New Zealand.
Figure 2. This accurate diagram shows Australia’s new outline, with a hatched interior representing the outline of what I used to believe the extent of Australia. Australia now looks a little like a giant cat bounding west toward Afrika.
More importantly you will notice the pincer maneuver we are undertaking against New Zealand with two claws extending deep into the Tasman Sea. Once the sprawl of the east coast hits the great dividing range, we will start claiming land to the east. We have never been that comfortably building inland, the interior has always been too inhospitable for our liking, so this suits us well.
This will be the site of enormous land reclamation endeavours, Melbourne will shoot down to the south, Sydney and Brisbane to the east. Powered and funded by the fuel bonanza that the expansion has provided island communities will spring up out of nowhere, not as palms or worlds, but as coral reefs and outlines of Ford Falcon Interceptors.
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